01 Mar That Time I Tried Online Dating–It Was A Mess!
I’m giving myself the side eye about this right here! Now look—I don’t knock folks who try it, but one thing I do know; it’s not for me. So, let me tell you what happened.
You know how you have that one special friend that you shouldn’t listen to because she is bat crazy but you can’t help but love her? Yeah.
Anyways, she calls me up one day and tells me that it’s hard for a man to find me because I’m never seen anywhere…I mean, she had a point. I am very much an introvert and a homebody. My family and friends know that if they invite me somewhere they need to give me at least two weeks notice so that I can get my outfit together, get my mind right and a good nap in before the event. I’m that girl that once I get home and take my bra off, it’s a wrap; so if you are about to have an emergency or if you need me to run an errand you better catch me when they are high and lifted up, because once they are hanging low, I’m down for the count. Anyways, I digress.
She convinces me to try online dating because this may be the best way for me to meet someone. So while she’s on the phone I pull out my laptop and we decide on the best online dating site for me to start. We take a look at Match and because I’m not quite taking this thing seriously, I create my username– “Honey Dip.” You can clearly tell that I am not too hip to the ways of this world and clearly neither was she, because anyone in their right mind would realize the kind of attention that would come my way. After a minute or two of browsing that site, I decided I wasn’t going to join ’cause I saw a few (or 15 people) from Rochester that I knew on there. No ma’am.
The next site we browsed was Christian Mingle. Chile…when I filtered out the type of men I would be interested in, I was squinting at the computer trying to decide if they looked Holy or not…and they didn’t. A few of them looked like they owned those vans with the curtains on the back window and once you got in the van, you would never come out. No sir.
The next site was full of black men; every skin shade, height, occupation…chile, I got excited. I saw muscles, good teeth, nice cars. I was like, “look at God!” *I know He gave me the side eye because He wasn’t about to take credit for none of this*
So I decided to go on and post a cute pic and write a catchy profile. I got partway back in my right mind and chose a username that was proof that I was raised halfway right. Oooh, the hits and likes and messages I received! One guy that hit me up was created after God’s own image…I was sure of it. He had it going on in his profile picture. We corresponded by messaging through the site for a few weeks. He posted a different picture and because I am fairly certain I was supposed to be in the CIA, I study EVERYTHING. In the picture I noticed he had a ring on his left hand. So, you know how we do: “it’s a reflection so maybe it’s actually his right hand?” Girl, bye. That ring was on his left hand. I knew it and Stevie Wonder did too. Being me, I straight up asked him, “how long have you been married?” He started stuttering and lying. Listen, one thing you don’t do is try to lie to me, I will grill you like a well done steak. Needless to say we never spoke again.
The other guy that I corresponded with was very nice and charming. Great conversation. We eventually moved from emails to phone conversations. He had a nice, deep voice and made me laugh. After a month we decided to meet for dinner.
Honey, the man was white. He was a white man posing as a black man. Now lookit…I don’t have anything against my vanilla friends, I love ya’ll; but I was looking for the chocolate man in the picture with the muscles. What had happened?
Needless to say, I was done with online dating after that (this was 4 years ago now.) It was just too much for my nerves and I have learned to appreciate meeting people face to face. What you see is what you get.
I know some Christians have issues with online dating. I have tried to explain to folks that you can meet the same crazy, lying kind of man in church.
Online dating isn’t for everyone. If you choose to do so please use common sense and wisdom—and girlfriend, please pay attention to the red flags. Never give out your address, always meet in a public place, please drive in separate cars, don’t introduce him to your kids, make sure he’s really not an inmate in jail and have your girlfriends vet him. If he’s hiding something, they will find it. You know that’s the truth.
I prefer to meet my future husband the old fashioned way…I walk by him and he does a double take, wants to know who I am and pursues me relentlessly. Yes honey! *high five*
If you have questions about online dating or need some advice because you are trying to figure out if you have really found the real deal or an imitation, write me on my “Ask Maia” page…you know I will tell you the truth!
Know that I love you!
From my heart to yours,