23 Jan Stop Dating Men Your Child Doesn’t Like
Just the thought of getting back into the dating scene makes me slightly nauseous; it can be overwhelming, especially if you aren’t willing to watch for red flags. Whenever one of my friends tells me that she is dating someone and it’s serious, I always ask if her child(ren) has met him. If the answer is “yes”, the follow up question is, “does he/she like him?” If the reply is, “no, my child doesn’t like him” my next question is, “so why are you dating him?”
Although our kids don’t always pick the best of friends for themselves and sometimes they date complete idiots, I’m a firm believer that there is something innately pure that is built in them when it comes to identifying men that come into our lives that mean us no good. They have a radar that hones in on jerks; as Mom’s, we need to trust that radar.
If we are really paying attention, we know when our child is being protective and maybe even slightly jealous about sharing us, but we also know how to discern between those feelings and their feelings of utter disdain for the person we are dating.
It’s easy to get caught up in the joy of being “found” that we allow it to overshadow the truth…the man you’re dating isn’t good for you and your kid knows it.
I’ve seen Mom’s choose men over their kids and it’s caused a lot of dissension in the home and complete heartbreak. Are you that desperate to have a man in your life that you choose a “piece” over “peace”? Is it really worth it?
If your child has expressed concern regarding the person you are dating or if their personality changes when that individual is around, it’s time for you to have a discussion with your heartbeat and find out what they are concerned about. It won’t be an easy conversation and you have to listen before you speak. Coming to the defense of the person you are dating and not acknowledging your child’s feelings is a recipe for disaster.
If I am blessed to have a man in my life one day, my hope is that he will love my daughter like she is his own. He will mean her no harm, he will respect her, honor her, protect her and cherish her. It’s also my hope that she will find him to be good for me, good to me and will be my covering and safe place; that she will find him to be a man of his word, respectful, kind and caring. Gabby wants me to be happy and she wants me to have someone in my life if that is what I choose, but I also know that she isn’t going to allow me to be with just anyone. She knows how my heart has been broken; as a toddler and young adult she saw what divorce and fear did to me. She only wants the best for me.
She’s young, but I trust her judgement and respect her concerns. Our kids still have a place of pureness in them and they carry the echoes of our heartbeat. Trust their judgement and choose peace; the right one will come along and your kid will let you know it.
From my heart to yours,