11 Apr Before You Say “I Do”: Understanding What It Means To Submit
Excerpts taken from, “Relationships 101” by Bishop Reginald A. McGill (my Daddy)
Women who were once Single are having a hard time transitioning from the Independent, “I don’t need a man telling me what to do” thought process to understanding what “Submitting to your husband” really means. Many of us are taking the “I am woman, hear me roar” mentality to a level that is leaving you single, or perhaps married and ruining….I mean running your marriage.
My mom is a very strong woman in both character and personality; when she talks, people listen and when she asks for something to be done, it is done right. Watching the way she commands a room has always intrigued me, but watching how she understands her role and place in the household intrigues me even more (I can sense your shoulders tensing up when you read the words, “understands her role and place in the household.” Don’t give me the side eye yet Sis, hang in there with me…I’m going somewhere with this and it’s going to help you.)
I felt that it was important to bring my Dad in on this one, so I have included a few excerpts from his book, “Relationships 101” to shed light on this topic. He’s a very wise man, so you will want to keep reading.
We all know the story about Adam and Eve. Eve disobeyed while Adam stood there and watched her and didn’t say anything and then joined her in the disobedience (side bar: I love men, but SOMETIMES ya’ll pick the wrong times to be passive aggressive) then they tried to hide themselves when they start to feel fear, a feeling they haven’t experienced before. While they are hiding, God let’s them know that He is about to establish a new order between the man and the woman because Adam and Eve didn’t have enough sense to do right. So, in Genesis 3:16 when the Bible says that Eve’s desire will be for her husband, the scripture wasn’t talking about a sexual desire. God is saying that Eve will want to take over her husband’s rule. Because sin has happened, disorder has happened, and she will want to take Adam’s place. This is where the spirit of radical feminism comes into the world.
And to clarify…this isn’t about equality for women as there is a difference between the political arena of civil rights and the sacred arena of a Godly home. This is about a woman beginning to feel that she must usurp the authority that has been given to her husband and not allow him to handle his ordained responsibility as the head of the house. Some women live in chaos within their own homes because they don’t understand the order that God has given regarding their marriage situation. God wants husbands and wives to understand their compatibility as well as their comparability. The fact that you are partners means that you must work together. After the fall, God told the woman that her husband would rule over her, and he told the husband that he would have a role of leadership that carries with it a measure of responsibility. God is not saying that the husband is to have dominion over the wife, but rather he is to accept responsibility concerning her life and her needs. God clearly states that when you honor His order, and the woman becomes submissive to her husband, complete order will be brought about in the household.
The word “Submission” has a negative connotation because people don’t understand it. First, let me tell you what submission does NOT mean…it does not mean that a woman allows herself to be abused physically, mentally, financially or emotionally. It does NOT mean that a woman is to be subjugated in a role where she becomes subservient to her husband. The Bible says that when God made Adam, He gave Eve to him. He gave her to him to be an equal partner in the relationship. Eve was there in order for Adam to fulfill his destiny as God understood that he couldn’t do it alone.
So, on to the good stuff….
The word “Submission” can be found about 33 times in the New Testament scripture, and in most instances it refers to a relationship between a husband and a wife. Submission, historically, was used as a military term to describe troops moving into battle with their arrangement in such an order that it would bring about victory. So, we can conclude that submission is a strategy that was designed for victory. Read that sentence again and then read it fifty eleven more times after that.
The word “Submission” also refers to “covering.” The definition for covering is: protection under stress. Ooooo Lord, that’s good. Here’s an example: As long as Adam and Eve were submitted to God in the Garden of Eden, they were under God’s covering. When they were disobedient and sinned, they got out from under the covering of God and walked away from the protection that God had provided for them.
Why are you so eager to dismantle the covering that God has provided to you and your household? No one is saying that you can’t be strong, but you must become an equal partner with your husband in the relationship…especially if he is being led by God and is a good man and provider. Your husband’s strength may be a quiet strength, but it’s strength none the less and you MUST learn to honor that.
Don’t get married if you are not ready to submit. If you are married but you are not working as a team, there is no time like the present to get it right.
Sis, you still command the room. Just do it with your husband by your side and command it together. #teamwork #submission #Godsway
From my heart to yours,