05 Apr Deliverance From Mommy Issues
It breaks my heart to see mother/daughter relationships torn apart due to hurt feelings and unforgiveness. The relationship between a mother and her daughter is a very fragile one and can be torn apart easily through both perceived and real offenses. There’s that word… “perceived”; I let out a literal sigh when I typed it.
The word offense comes from the Greek word, “skandalo,” which means to ‘trap or bait.’ This word was used in ancient times to describe a curved, flexible stem with bait used to trap animals. In other words, whenever someone offends you, it can be used as bait to keep you trapped in something that you PERCEIVE or INTERPRET to be true.
Let me share with you a personal example. My sister and I are 7 years apart (I’m the oldest) and growing up we were like night and day—complete opposites (the older we get the more I find how much we have in common and I love being in her presence. She’s my girl.) My sister and my Mom are very much alike in their tenacity, pursuit of goals, business acumen and the way they communicate. Because of this dynamic, they tend to share more with one another. Because of this, my PERCEPTION was that my Mom loved my sister more than she loved me. This caused a struggle in my relationship with my Mom (that I created in my own head space) where whenever she would offer advice or encouragement, I PERCEIVED that she was comparing or trying to mold me so that I would be more like my sister; which I now know is far from the truth. What I failed to realize at that time was that the offense wasn’t my Mom’s fault, it was mine. My mother offering advice or encouragement was her very loving way of trying to get me to allow her into my space. She wasn’t trying to change me! She loves me to pieces; I’m a lot like my Father, so she has learned to adjust her approach with me…I honor her tremendously and she’s not only my Mom, but she’s become my friend.
The root of the offense was both insecurity and immaturity and I firmly believe that the enemy uses these two things to wreak havoc in mother/daughter relationships. God doesn’t just throw mother/daughter relationships together haphazardly; we are in the exact relationship that God ordained from the beginning of time and He proves it so in Acts 17:26 “…and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” God is a good, good Father and makes no mistakes, so the Mom and the daughter(s) that we have been blessed with were chosen by God.
Let me pause here as I realize that some of you reading this are wondering how such a good God gave you a Mom who abandoned you or maybe physically/verbally abused you, or perhaps she was an addict and failed in raising you and loving you. Or maybe you are a Mom whose heart has been broken by a daughter who continues to make the wrong decisions and has hurt you over and over again. Perhaps in the quiet hours you wish God gave you someone different.
Allow me to say this…if your relationship with your Mom or your daughter is strained, God’s plan for your relationship is still a gracious one; He can heal what’s broken.
One of the first steps in the healing process is letting go of offenses, whether perceived or real. How do you accomplish this?
- You must make the decision to forgive your Mom (or daughter)
- Express your forgiveness out loud during your prayer time; be specific and name each offense or action that you forgive her for
- Repent for the role you played and any negative attitude
- Make a decision to address the issue or spirit of offense in your life
Please pray this prayer:
“Father, in the name of Jesus, I bind all roots of bitterness and unforgiveness and ask that you give me a clean heart. I cancel every trick and renounce every lie that the enemy has spoken into my life. I forgive (insert name) for (name each offense or action). Father, I surrender all of my pain and hurt to you. I will no longer strike out in anger, resentment, immaturity or jealousy and I declare that I am free in your name, Amen.”
The devil is cunning and will try to remind you of those things that you let go of, don’t give him any place in your life! Deliverance is yours!
From my heart to yours,