01 Mar Deliverance From Daddy Issues
When my daughter’s father left when she was six weeks old, my prayer over the years that followed was that she wouldn’t feel abandoned nor grow distrustful of men. I watched her interactions with boys throughout her school years; was she able to have healthy relationships with young men? Were there signs of hyper-sexuality or the need to be affirmed by boys? Was she able to have healthy relationships with her female friends? How did she respond emotionally when Father’s Day rolled around or those dreaded, “Donuts with Dad” days at school?
I was afraid that my daughter was going to be in the number with other girls who grow up to be women with Daddy Issues.
She is one of the fortunate ones..my Dad fell in love with her the moment he laid eyes on her and their bond grew once he stepped in to take the place that her own Father deserted. He poured life and love into her, spoke words of encouragement and peace into her life. Disciplined her when necessary (which was pretty much never…one look into her baby brown eyes and he was mush) and taught her Spiritually.
While my Dad played an important role in her life, it was up to me as her Mom to not allow the physical absence of a Father in the home to be an excuse for her to live her life any kind of way. It was my role to show her how to be independent, while knowing when to ask for help; to thrive in her womanhood without exploiting it; to understand sexuality without perverting it and to show her that the absence of a Father doesn’t make her any less of a woman…or a human being worthy of being loved.
My heart aches for the young women who weren’t as fortunate to escape this shadow of rejection and find themselves growing from young girls into women with Daddy issues. I’ve also seen it with women who have Father’s in the home, but are finding it hard to shake the emotional loss they feel because their relationship with their Father was lacking.
The definition of DELIVERANCE is, “the action of being rescued or set free.” Unfortunately, many women with Daddy Issues are looking to be rescued by a man which often leads them into allowing the wrong type of man into their space; or their issues can be so intense that they want nothing to do with men at all and choose to be with women (this is not a blanket statement, so please don’t receive it as such.)
One of the first steps to being set free is admitting that there is something lacking in your life. If you can identify with at least 3 of the following, then it may be time for you to address issues at hand:
- You struggle with issues of abandonment and/or rejection
- You date men to be your Father; not to be a lifelong partner
- You choose men who don’t match your worth
- Your desire for male attention is a daily need
- You find yourself in the same type of unhealthy relationships over and over again
- Highly sexual with multiple partners
- Healthy relationships make you uncomfortable
- Distrust men
- Your Father’s opinion of you is highly important and can sometimes surface as anxiety or fear if you feel like you are letting him down in some way
- Even if a man has made it clear that he is not interested, you will still pursue with the hope he will change his mind
Sis, are you ready to admit that you have an issue to address so that you can work towards Deliverance? If so, take today and tomorrow to dig deep and be sure to read Part 2 of this blog that will be posted on Friday morning. xoxo.
From my heart to yours,