I have been dating this guy for two months, but I am not physically attracted to him AT ALL, what should I do?
4. March 2016
Girl, the fact that you put “at all” in Caps has my penciled in eyebrows raised. You definitely want to be attracted to the person you are dating, otherwise your eyes will roam elsewhere and we all know how that will end up. I’m not going to encourage you to give it more time because you said “at all”; there wasn’t even a “he’s starting to grow on me” so it sounds like you are over it. If you are dating him because you are enjoying the time and the attention, I need you to stop using him to fulfill your needs and start thinking about how he feels. He probably knows you are not attracted to him, but because you keep entertaining his time and attention, you are giving him false hope. Be honest..let him know that you think he is a great guy, but it’s not going to go anywhere. If you look up in the next 6 months and he has turned into Thor, don’t come looking for me! Your “At All” in caps messed it up for you! God speed Sis…God speed.
I have lost all 3 of my babies going into my second trimester. I’m pregnant now and I’m a week away from my second trimester and I’m scared. My husband is very supportive, but I don’t know if we can make it through another loss.
4. March 2016
Let me start off by saying that I am so sorry that you had to experience loss like that. God has and will restore. The next thing that I will say is that God has not given you a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. If God did not give you fear that means it doesn’t belong to you, so you can release it. What He has given to you is power (to make it through this pregnancy victorious and power to rebuke the hand of the enemy); He has also give you love (forgiving yourself as the losses were not your fault; love for your husband as you wait patiently for your little one and the ability to love the little one you are carrying without fear that you will lose this one too) and He has given you a sound mind (that means no anxiety, no mental anguish, depression or sleepless nights due to worry.) I declare right now in the name of Jesus that you will carry your blessing to full term and not only that, you will have a peaceful delivery and a healthy baby. Declare your victory everyday and stand on God’s promises. No weapon formed against you shall prosper! Be sure to follow your Doctor’s orders and trust God. I am expecting a good report!
Dating is not something I’ve done often nor well. What questions should I ask so that I’m not wasting my time nor his?
4. March 2016
Great question. A couple of things to keep in mind, just be you. I know you personally and because we both have big personalities, a ridiculous sense of humor and often partake in tomfoolery (the innocent kind) we may feel like we have to subdue who we are so that we don’t turn men off. BE YOU. He’s gotta know what he’s getting himself into from the jump! I also would say, have fun. I think that as women we have a tendency to overthink things and make things too complicated. You must also realize that most men don’t stick to routine, so if his routine changes (text messages, calls) don’t start tripping on him…wait it out before you start peppering him with questions. When you two do hang out and talk on the phone, be natural and let the conversation flow. Ask about his friends, family…does he like to travel, what are his goals over the next two years, etc. But ask him conversationally, not like you are interviewing the poor guy. And last but not least, we are at the age where we are too old to play games. If at anytime he says, “I’m not ready to date” he has put you in the friend zone and that’s okay, at least you know where you stand. Allow yourself to enjoy this season in your life. Keep me posted!
I recently found out that my 14 year old daughter had sex. What do I do?
29. February 2016
I know you are feeling a myriad of emotions because you want to save her from herself. Because I don’t have all of the details pertaining to this situation, I am going to share the conversation I had with my daughter…hopefully from this you can decide your best approach. I have always been extremely honest with my daughter. When she turned 10 we started having conversations about sex (these conversations should always take place based on maturity level…trust me, they are learning more from social media and their young friends than we care to admit.) I told her that I lost my virginity at the age of 14. I told her that it felt good, I loved the boy and wanted to keep doing it (I was being honest!) I also explained to her that at that age I wasn’t old enough to understand all of the emotions that come with sex. I knew that I couldn’t just quote scriptures and expect her to keep her legs closed. I had to be practical, share my own experiences and tell the truth. I told her that I would prefer that she wait until marriage and give that special gift to her husband. I explained to her that besides the emotional ramifications, there are also potential physical ones such as pregnancy, STD’s, etc. I explained to her that getting through high school, working and going to college is hard enough by yourself, can you imagine how hard it would be with a baby? I shared my heart with her and told her that I wanted her to wait, but I also told her that if at any point she decided that she wanted to have sex, please come tell me so that we could take the necessary steps to make sure she is protected. I told her that I would much rather she come to me than sneak and do it. She is 17 now and is still committed to waiting for marriage. So, I said all this to say…what’s done is done. You can’t change what happened. All you can do is have an open and honest conversation with her (not judgy or confrontational) and ask her where she is with all of this. Explain the consequences and all the responsibility that comes with it. If she chooses to continue to have sex, I feel that you have the responsibility to address birth control, lay down rules (no sex in your home, etc) keep her covered in prayer and keep your lines of communication open. If she says she doesn’t want to continue, find out why she did it in case there is an underlying issue. And don’t be afraid to ask the hard and scary questions because you want to make sure she wasn’t forced or there are other things going on that you may not be aware of. I know it’s difficult to deal with, but you will get through this together!
I’m recently divorced and I met someone. How long do you think I should wait until I start dating again?
17. February 2016
When someone uses the word “recently” that makes me a little nervous because I believe that after a divorce you need time to heal. That healing process is different for everyone, but I just want to make sure that you aren’t trying to fill a void by replacing what was lost with someone new. There is nothing wrong with taking some time out for yourself. Step back and take some time to know you again. That time alone will help you figure out what it is that you need, want and desire in a relationship so that you don’t make the same mistakes again. I needed a good four years after my divorce before I even started thinking about meeting someone, but I went through a lot of emotional trauma so I wasn’t ready. You can’t put a time frame on this type of thing, but just make sure you are ready. There is nothing worse than trying to fill a void because you are lonely. Travel, write a book, get your finances together…just do you for a minute. It’s ok!
What are you thoughts on how Devon Franklin responded to the lady who told Meagan Good to “cover up”?
17. February 2016
I watched the video and was most disturbed at the fact that the woman in the crowd was harsh in her approach. At that point, Devon was not inclined to respond as a preacher, but responded as a husband protecting his wife. I personally don’t have a problem with what she wears… as long as she’s not wearing it in the pulpit. What she wears is a conversation between she and her husband. He clearly has no issue with it, so why should I? (again, as long as she’s not in the pulpit with it.) We also have to remember that she is a babe in Christ and as her husband and covering, he is going to have to point her in the right direction so that she understands her own growth and the reason for the change. Some folks forgot about their own journey when they first got saved #soeasytoforget. I know one thing, if I see these same Christian women that carried on about it on Facebook out in public with their breasts hanging out, I’m going to pull up their judgy FB post and then hand them a purple church blanket. #haveaseat. I also think that people are taking his, “in the name of Jesus” out of context. You could tell he was HOT, so when he said, “in the name of Jesus” I think he was trying to keep himself from backsliding and keeping Jesus in the room.