The gift of ministry God has placed on my life doesn’t necessarily match folks perspective of gender roles in the church. I’m not a confrontational person, but it’s painfully obvious that I’m not considered, overlooked, and a source of confusion for others. We say we believe that God calls women, but apparently that only to Women’s Ministry. I’m not the confrontational type, and I wouldn’t want to be accused of having a Jezebel spirit; it’s hard enough being an introvert and walking this out. It’s becoming obvious that I don’t do all that the men do – church folks are asking questions. How do I handle this without looking “ministry thirsty”?
11. March 2016
Folks don’t know unless you tell them what you feel you are called to do. It is then up to leadership to decide the best way for you to use your ministry gifts. I would encourage you to set up a meeting with Leadership, share where you feel God is leading you in ministry and present how you can help or assist. It’s also important for Leadership to see you already actively working in the vineyard. Even if you are starting in a ministry where you don’t necessarily feel called to be, just remember that it’s not about you, but walking in grace and obedience so that others meet their soul salvation. Folks will keep you in a box if they don’t know you are ready to come out. Respectfully speak up and present how you can be an asset to the Body of Christ. If it’s your season, God will move on your behalf!
What advice would you give to someone who has down spiraling motivation but actually wants a great future for themselves?
11. March 2016
Ask them what they are afraid of… is it fear of failure? Perhaps they don’t know where to start (we all know starting is half the battle.) What is their passion? Passion motivates and encourages. I can tell you that my motivation was hampered due to depression…I felt “stuck” like I was just here on the earth to work, pay bills and go on to be with Jesus (a little dramatic, but that’s how I felt!) God has given us life and that more abundantly. He wants us to prosper and be in good health and have abundance. So again, help them identify their passion—and it could be more than one thing, but focus on the ONE thing that he/she can see themselves doing or being in the future, then take the next steps to make that passion bring forth life. If money is an issue, start small and work up from there. They have to try…there is no failure in trying.
I have been dating a wonderful man for two years. Every time I bring up marriage, he shuts down. I’m ready to end things.
11. March 2016
It’s hard for folks to get excited about marriage, especially if they haven’t had the best examples. I think that you need to let him know that his response (or lack thereof) hurts your feelings and you would like to know what the next phase of your life will be. If he continues to shut down without responding, you need to ask yourself if you really want to continue in this relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting more, he just may not be the person that can give you what you desire.
I’m 16 and there’s this really cute boy at my school. He’s told my friends he likes me but hasn’t told me yet. What do I do?
11. March 2016
Ahh sweetie! Is he cute, cute or just cute? Since you’re asking me this question he’s probably cute, cute! Ok, so my advice is this…wait for him to tell you himself. He will, trust me. In the meantime, watch him. What are his friends like? Are they kind and respectful, responsible? Do they try hard in school? The kind of people he hangs around will tell you a lot about him. Watch him around other girls. Is he respectful to them? Does he flirt way too much? Last but not least (this is my favorite) watch how he responds when you walk by him. If he stops talking and stares….he’s crushing on you. The most important thing, while liking a boy is fun and having a boyfriend is nice, this should not be your top priority. There will always be boys who will turn into wonderful men, so you have time. Balance life including work, school and hanging out; there is nothing wrong with that. Have fun sweet one. Stay focused and listen to the adults around you who are giving good advice because they want what is best for you.
After being separated for a year, I have recently found out my husband got another woman pregnant. What do I do?
11. March 2016
I can’t imagine how this makes you feel. I hope that the answer I will provide will help you as you make some important decisions. My understanding about separation is that you are either separating and in the process of divorce or you are separating trying to figure out if you want to the marriage to work. Both of those things require time, emotion and self-reflection. When your husband was sleeping with a woman that was not you, he was clearly not reflecting on you and how to make things work, nor was he opposing the idea of Divorce. He had already moved on (either mentally, emotionally or both.) If you two decide to stay together you must both be honest about your future situation and if you are going to put in hard work to make it work. Not only are you repairing things between the two of you, but you have now introduced a baby and the mother (who isn’t you) into the equation. If you both want to really try, please seek Godly counsel, surround yourself with men and women that will hold you accountable and most importantly forgive. Forgive if you both stay and forgive if you both end up walking away.
I believe I have met my husband, but he’s currently married. What do I do?
4. March 2016
You should go be with a man who is not married. He can’t be your husband when he’s married to someone else. That’s a lie of the enemy and you have been tricked, bamboozled and hoodwinked. If you two are engaged in a relationship, you need to end it because you are out of order. He is not going to leave his wife for you because what you are is convenient for him. And, if he does leave her for you, he will leave you for someone else. You are way better than this, so stop being played. Release him and allow yourself time to heal and then wait for the right, unmarried man who respects women to come find you and love you the way you need.