I am no longer attracted to my husband. What do I do?
31. March 2016
What happened? Did he gain weight? Lose his hair, teeth? Are his toenails too long? Lookit…those are all things you can fix. I don’t know about you, but some of my body parts have shifted and some of my territory has been enlarged (fix it Jesus.) If it’s things that are fixable, be gentle and honest with him and tell him how you feel. Maybe go to the gym with him or arrange for a spa date where ya’ll get waxed, clipped, snipped and dipped. If you are no longer attracted to him because you are attracted to someone else, slow your roll. The grass on the other side may look greener, but there are always hidden holes. Don’t be fooled. The other thing to consider is that as women get older, our hormones change. If you are feeling tired, you should probably have your Vitamin D levels checked. If you don’t get all “worked up” (giving you the knowing side eye) like you used to, go see your OBGYN as there may be some leveling of your hormones that needs to take place. If it’s none of the things I mentioned, then maybe you might need to spice some things up and add some excitement back into that area of your life. Men like it when women take some initiative. I’m single, so I can only tread lightly in this territory, so what I would encourage you to do is to talk to some of your off the chain happily married female friends and get some advice from them. I am sure they will hook you all the way up! I have a feeling y’all are gonna be alright.
How do you know when your marriage is over?
31. March 2016
It’s tough right? So, without knowing all of the details, I can only offer some perspective. You have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you gave it all you had; counseling, communication, going back to the basics (dating again), forgiving, trusting and trying. Even if the other party isn’t willing to do all of this in the beginning, you have to put forth the effort and hope that they start trying as well. If in the end you have done all you can do, then you have a decision to make. That decision has to be between you and your Creator. Yes, people will get judgy (I know that’s not a word) but you really can’t care. This probably doesn’t answer your question, but I hope it offers a perspective and something for you to think about. Give it all you have until something changes for the better….you will never be able to say you didn’t try.
It’s very difficult to let a child grow and have the correct amount of freedom, how do you do that with your daughter so well? Manage between parenting and being her friend?
31. March 2016
Great question. I still get weird about her going certain places or hanging out with certain people. I try to explain to her that it’s not her that I don’t trust, it’s the other people. I have also learned that giving a child the correct amount of freedom is based on their level of maturity. As an example, I let her go out on group dates starting at the age of 13 but I was present in the group…lol…if they went to the movies I was the parent that picked everyone up and sat a row behind them. If they went to the Mall, I was the Mom sitting in the food court holding all of their coats. She also understands what I expect of her and she knows that if she breaks my trust, it will be very hard to get it back. I also think that because I have my own style and a big personality, I don’t make a big deal about things like tattoos, makeup or how she dresses (nothing that is not age appropriate though). I would much prefer that she get tattoos, wear heavy eyeliner and rock all black than her smoking, drinking and sleeping around. I have learned to pick my battles and a tattoo (or 3) and red lipstick isn’t worth the fight. I’m more concerned about her walk with God and if she’s coming home at night in one piece and in her right mind. There are also rules she must abide by. No one is to be in the house when I’m not home, when she goes out she must text me upon leaving the house, when she arrives and when she departs. She has a curfew and she must run all plans by me. She knows by now that if I tell her “no” it’s for a good reason, so she usually doesn’t put up too much of a fight. So in summary, it’s about maturity level; your child understanding your level of crazy and respectfully fearing it; abiding by the rules and last but not least, let them grow and experience life. We have helped our children fly with guidance along the way. At some point we have to let them soar…they know we will be there to catch them if they start to fall.
I’m not happy at my job. I’ve been there 13 years. I really want to teach, but I feel like I’m too old to go back to school. Thoughts?
25. March 2016
My mother is a very wise woman…one of the things I have heard her tell people is, “whether you go back to school or not you are going to get older, so why not go back to school?” Don’t ever let age keep you from doing something that you want to do. Change is good and it’s even better when you pursue your passion. I say go for it and enjoy every minute of it; you’ve got this!
I’m tired of being alone. What advice can you give me?
24. March 2016
I know it’s hard. I had to learn that there is a difference–there is being alone and being lonely. Often times when we are alone we allow sadness to set in and we start thinking about the things that we don’t have in our life. While you are alone, this is the perfect time for you to travel, get your finances in order, work on yourself, find your passion, etc. The last thing you want to do is fill your time with excess, including men with emotional baggage. Don’t ever think that being alone is a bad thing. Your time will come and not only will you have someone to share your life with, you will already have things in order because you were able to focus on yourself. Stay encouraged. xoxo
I need a chance what made u change and once it happened did u care what ppl say or think about ur change
18. March 2016
I changed because I was tired of being stuck. I also changed because it was time for me to. All too often we get comfortable and complacent and then there is no progress. I used to care about what people thought about me and my life decisions, but then I realized that this is MY life and I needed to do what was best for me. As long as you are making healthy decisions that won’t harm you, cause you to be in financial stress, emotional or physical stress, etc then I say be prayerful and listen to what God is leading you to do. Change doesn’t always mean you have to leave your home town, etc. Change can simply mean going back to school, moving out on your own, finding a new job. You never want to run from one situation into another bad one. Be wise, seek Godly counsel and plan appropriately and strategically.