I have a husband who loves me. He’ll give me the world if he could. We’ve been married 16yrs. All of my needs are supplied, BUT! We don’t talk, we don’t do much of anything. Our relationship is more like a partnership, we know what each other needs w/o the other saying anything. He’s worked overnights our entire marriage, so we have the opportunity to sleep together 2x/wk if he’s not working OT. Those 2x, he usually falls asleep on the couch. We feel more like roommates. I’ve expressed my want to have more, but he says there’s no problem, everything’s fine…but it’s NOT I want more. We tried counseling, but we would never complete the “homework” assignments and he said it was a waste of money….I’ve been having 1st an emotional, then physical affair w/an old acquaintance from over 20yrs ago. I know it’s wrong, but I feel like he gives me everything my husband doesn’t.
26. May 2016
Oh Sis. First, let me say that I am sorry you are going through this. Feeling alone and lonely in a marriage is devastating. I’m glad that you know being in a relationship with a man who is not your husband is wrong; you must end it and end it quickly. Your husband and your 16 year marriage deserve respect. In addition, these types of situations never end well. I can’t tell you what to do, but if it were me, I would tell my husband about the affair. It will do one of two things…open up your husbands eyes and prompt him to do better or it will end your marriage and honestly, you have to be ready for either outcome. If you want your marriage to work, you have to fight for it. If you don’t want to continue, then you need to let it go. You can’t continue down the path you’re going…it will do more harm than good. As for the man you are seeing, if he’s willing to cheat with you, he will cheat on you. The grass may look greener on the other side, but there are potholes and you will get hurt. I wish I could give you a big hug. I pray you get what your heart needs…please be wise. Xoxo
My husband’s routine has changed the last month and I suspect he’s cheating. What do I do?
20. May 2016
You know your husband, so don’t think you’re being paranoid. However, before you go to the next level of crazy, talk to him. Tell him you have noticed changes and ask him what’s going on. Men deal with stress, etc very differently, so there could be something going on that Is completely opposite of what you are thinking. If his answers aren’t matching up with future actions, I say continue to watch and be prayerful. God will show you what you need to know. Xoxo
I’m tired of being alone and it’s depressing. What do I do?
20. May 2016
I understand, trust me…I do. I have said this before, but it bears repeating; there are plenty of folks who are in relationships and they are still lonely. In other words, being with someone won’t fix what is lacking. Once I stopped focusing on the fact that I was not in a relationship, I was able to focus on learning how to be content in my state of singleness. Learn how to enjoy your own company, connect with friends, stay busy–do volunteer work, etc. Learn to be comfortable and content without a significant other. It will happen in due season. xoxo
I just got married and our intimate life is awful. He’s got no idea what he’s doing. What do I do?
28. April 2016
Wowser. Ok…….Girl, you gotta show him what you like and how you like it. Just be gentle with his feelings. Make the “teaching” process fun and exciting…you both have to learn one another! You might find out that you need to step your game up too chile! That’s all I can answer of this question; I’m not married and I’m trying to stay Holy. P.S. Have fun!
I found out that my sister’s husband is cheating on her (solid proof). Do I tell her?
28. April 2016
If it were my Sister I would tell her. Present what you know and then leave it up to her to decide how she wants to handle it. Remember…it’s not your marriage, so you need to let her handle it the best way she knows how. Now listen…I’m a fighting sistah. If you are anything like me, you will want to beat him like Solange beat Jay-Z in that elevator…don’t do it girl! Don’t do it! But on a serious note, I would tell her (don’t be dramatic about it, don’t embellish, etc.) there is nothing worse than finding out that the people closest to you knew stuff and didn’t tell you. Tell her and then mind your business; but be there with open arms when she needs you.
My Mom and I aren’t close at all. What can I do to make our relationship work?
28. April 2016
If your relationship has been challenging, it’s important for you to stop and think how you may have contributed to it being a challenge. One of the lessons I have learned is that I have to love my parents just the way they are because that is what I want from them as well! You know how your Mom is. Some days you just gotta let some things slide and not take things so personally. Make it a point to go to lunch or dinner once a month, just you and her. Spend time doing things that you both enjoy. I think we have a tendency to make things more difficult than what they need to be because we get in our feelings. Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs there is…just know that she is doing her best. Enjoy your time with her and let go of past hurts.