I struggle with loneliness. Can you please help?
8. May 2017
Loneliness can be difficult if you don’t understand it or learn to embrace it. I worry about people who ALWAYS need to be surrounded by others…why don’t you like your own company? What emotional hole are you trying to fill?
We go through seasons in our life and sometimes a season of loneliness is really a season of quietness. What is God trying to teach you during this time in your life? Have you asked Him?
It’s also important that you pay attention to whom you are allowing into your space when you are feeling lonely…it can end up being a recipe for disaster if we are trying to fill time with someone or something that is harmful to our well being. Don’t get caught in the trap.
I also want to encourage you to start exploring life a bit more. What are your dreams? What is your passion? Have you explored opportunities to meet other people that will result in a healthy connection?
Be wise in your choices. Don’t look at loneliness as a bad thing, especially when it can be a wonderful opportunity. xoxo, M
I’ve been hurt by so many people in the church. Now what?
8. May 2017
Let me start off by saying that I am so sorry that you have been hurt by people in the church. The next thing that I will say is that I hope you realize that those individuals do not represent everyone and I hope that offers some comfort.
I grew up in the church and have been a Preacher’s Kid for over 30 years, so I understand how it feels to be hurt by people in the church. I have been lied on, talked about, used, misrepresented and the list goes one. One thing I had to learn though was that I couldn’t allow other people to keep me from working out my own soul salvation. What you have is between you and Jesus…don’t let folks keep you from getting what you need / sharing the Gospel with others.
It’s also important that you attend church. The Bible states that it is good for the brethren to dwell together in unity. You find strength in fellowship and it is encouraging to know that other people are going through the same things that you are.
There are always one or two people that you can befriend and trust. God always has a ram in the bush. xoxo
I feel like I would cheat in a relationship. How do I avoid that?
4. April 2017
Well, first thing first. You need to release yourself from that bondage and change the way you think. If you cheated before, it doesn’t mean that you will cheat again….you have the right and the ability to change. It’s also important that you not only respect yourself, but the person that you are with. There may be some platonic relationships that you will have to end. In addition, be careful that you don’t become emotionally attached with someone that you are not in a relationship with; also be careful about “innocent flirting” as there is no such thing. There is always an intent behind something. And last but not least, if you don’t feel that you can be respectful of the person that you are with, then you don’t need to be in a relationship….wait until you can do things right. From my heart to yours, Maia
I’ve started dating again and want to remain celibate. How do I explain this to the men that I date and how do I stay celibate? I want to do this right.
4. April 2017
I applaud you in this and encourage you to stay strong! I know you can do this. Now that you are dating again, I think it’s important that you have an up front and honest conversation with the person you are dating; let him know what your intentions are and make it clear that there will be no sex. If he cannot respect where you are coming from, then you have to let him go. Respect is fundamental in any relationship and if he cannot honor you, then he is not for you. If he is on board (and I hope he is!) you two need to discuss boundaries such as how you date (in groups/not late at night—chile, the freak comes out at night! Kissing, etc.) If you go out at night, he shouldn’t be coming inside your home by himself unless he’s accompanied by the other couple you went out with (as an example.) You should also have an accountability partner—one that you can be honest with and she will make sure you stay on track and not on your back! Setting up boundaries and expectations really makes things so much easier for you and for him; you know you ain’t giving it and he knows he ain’t getting it. You’ve got this!! From my heart to yours, Maia
I feel like I choose the wrong people. How do I trust my choices in women?
4. April 2017
Great question. One of the things that I have learned is that I must pay attention to red flags and not shrug them off, which is what we tend to do; especially when we are really attracted to an individual. I also had to stop thinking that I could “fix him.” We tend to see the potential in someone and think that we can help them reach that potential, so we pour all that we have into that person, only for them to become better and choose to be with someone else. You can’t fix anyone; they have to want to change. I also think that you have to be honest with yourself and ask what is it about you that attracts the same type of person? What are you giving off that women who mean you no good can sense? Your choices start with YOU, so you have to look inward. From my heart to yours, Maia
Me and my sister are not talking cause she feels it is ok to talk to someone that i was talking to at one point and she told me about it and i told her that i dont cross that line and she was like dont speak to me no more and hung up the phone so i texted her and told her if she feel this is ok to do than enjoy but i am your siter and we should not stop talking cause your friends told her it is ok i am not mad that she is talking to him i am upset that you want to stop talking to me to make it ok how do i deal with this i know that my sister has always been jealous of me and i dont know why so how do i deal with this.
1. September 2016
It’s hard when family starts acting crazy! At this point there is nothing that you can really do except wait. She has to be the one to realize she was wrong and make it right. Until she realizes that she’s not in competition with you, this may always be an issue. Hopefully, at some point you can both talk and you can share your heart.